Useful Ideas, March 2020

You’re not failing, it’s just hard.

You arrange your life around the things that are important rather than vice versa.

If you consistently find that you’re not doing certain things then admit to yourself that those things aren’t important, and demote them in your thoughts — or do them.

Your phone is a place you hide. Remember that it is personally important to you not hide so you need to control that.

You are answerable to yourself and you have a duty to create the sort of life you want.

How you react to difficulty is part of what gives you a sense of pride in yourself.

Try pausing before responding. Your assent it the most precious thing you have so try not to ever say Yes unless you mean it.

Don’t blow it out of proportion. No one is going to die. It’s not the end of the world.

Giving up is the only true failure.

If your time is not for something then that aimlessness will curdle into negativity.

You’re not going to let people down by not behaving as they expect.

When it comes to the shallower pleasures of life, you don’t get any more out of a little taste than you do out of a banquet. It’s inherently unfulfilling. Pleasures are essentially meaningless and you should enjoy them with that in mind.

There is no relief from your real life. Wherever you are, that’s you.

Things that make you truly happy are self-improvement, self-control, and achievement. Those are the things that you look forward to. Pleasures, entertainments and distractions not only aren’t those things but they push them further away.

Don’t sit down.

Trying is the same as succeeding.

If you try a little, the way opens up for you.

Do it to fail.

You are guided by your own light and not someone else’s.

You are not your most hysterical emotions. They can still be felt and set to one side.

Being distracted not only makes you unhappy, it erodes the skills you need to make your life fulfilling. Focus is the shield that stands between you and anomie.

You will often beat yourself up for not doing more, when you actually used you time pretty effectively. Over time if you reflect in a non-hysterical way on the things you are doing, try to assimilate those lessons into you life, and do this consistently then your life will be better. Don’t listen to your inner bitch.

You will never be finished, so cut yourself some slack. You’ll be at this forever.

You’re more likely to feel like you’ve lost a personal interaction if you approach it in a spirit of vindictiveness, rage, inadequacy, bitterness.

You think all kinds of things you don’t say. Don’t assume you know what others are thinking. You don’t know what other people are keeping to themselves.

An unpleasant emotion is like a fire that you have to allow to burn out.

Try to make the inner and the outer you the same so you don’t feel at every moment you are about to be exposed.

Don’t assume you did anything wrong.

Something is right or wrong , or it doesn’t matter. But there is no “getting away with it”. You remain answerable to yourself in all circumstances. Whether something is right is not dependent on someone catching you at it.

The situation is always recoverable. There’s always a way back.

Would the person you want to be do that?

It’s not about not encountering problems, obstacles or failures, it’s about dealing with those things in the style of the person you would like to be.

Whatever behaviour you engage in begets more behaviour of that type, so be careful what you do.

After you are finished engaging in self-destructive behaviour, you will still be the person you were before. The only difference will be that you will have failed a test that you set for yourself and you will have undermined the good work you’ve done.

There’s no “Should”. You can do whatever you like, all you have to do is assess the impact and decide if it’s worth taking the responsibility.

You can cut yourself some slack in making mistakes, but not in the principles you set for yourself.